OGD now knows the police aren't enemies]. Oh, the room is spinning. See more ideas about steve urkel, humor, urkel. Laura: Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke! He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. 'Steve Urkel' actor launches cannabis brand on 4/20 Carl: Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead? Laura Lee Winslow: No, it really bugs me that Steve is the only guy with enough guts to stand up to Willie. Laura: We're not going anywhere. [walks into the bathroom]. Look how big and thick it is! Rodney Beckett: I'm Rodney, but my friends call me Rod-meister. Empty the cash register! Carl Otis Winslow: 150 extra people on what should've been a small family affair. At the airport he picked up 6 bags. [Steve goes to answer the door] I'm going to consummate, I'm going to consummate. Would you rather be buried or cremated? You're acting like animals! A mouse to cheese! Laura Lee Winslow: What you did for me tonight was really special. [Pulls him into a hug]. Carl: What are you talking about? Steven Quincy Urkel: Gee, I don't know, the speedometer only goes to thirty. Let's just get there! Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. Carl: Okay, you read the instructions, while I add all the pieces. Steve Urkel: I know! Wha? Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? Wha? She's mine! A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Oh, I see. Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? He's half-Nerd, Half-Carl. Laura: So, Myrtle, how long are you gonna be around? 2023. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Stevil was back and he was coming for my soul! Don't mess with Mrs.Bonecrusher! Your father waited at the Box Office for an hour. Carl: I am not. Becky Sue: Oh, we couldn't do that. Laura: Where did you get the money for this? Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. What about it, Steve. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It's a tradition in the Urkel family to not consummate the marriage for three months. Carl: Stefan, you gotta help me. Steve Urkel: Oh, I am so glad you said that! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. Boyd broke my glasses. [after Carl as defeated Turbo with ease, Harriette runs up to him with her purse]. Family Matters is a comedy that has many serious episodes, something many sitcoms delve into from time to time, but "Good Cop, Bad Cop" is possibly their best offering of drama. But honey, let's put a positive spin on it. Why would anybody want to kill her? [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. Steve Urkel: I've taken a vow of chastity. T-Pain says Kanye West stole one of his lines after calling it - REVOLT Well if he does it again, I'm gonna grab his bellows and make a wish. What do you use to get weighed, a postage scale? With Squeeze I'm not safe nowhere. That's Lt. Murtaugh. The Nineties. This wire will be connected to this cord and this cord is not plugged in. To rob and murder? They're disgusting. Can you believe that? Steve Urkel: Hey, I was following Eddie's instructions. Because check this out buddy, you're alone. Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. So, is it all right with you? I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. Carl: [after kicking Steve out of the house] And don't you ever come back! Carl Otis Winslow: But, apparently you seem want to learn it the hard way, well so be it. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Will you marry me? Eddie: I don't believe wat just happened, dad took Waldo to the bulls game. Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. Family Matters Quotes There is no Steve here. And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. ", Harriette Winslow: She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and she said "Why, Mom?". Does that about cover it? The bad news is, he'll charge you an arm and a leg. You see, I use verbs. Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. And him. Steve Urkel: I have to tell you, Mr. Winslow. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class sign. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Bright side? He's fanning his hace with a plate as Eddie walks in]. I just spend two hours talking a guy off a ledge, then found out he was a window washer. Carl: Uh-oh. That was a love letter to Eddie Winslow from Eddie Winslow. Harriette: That won't get the stains out. But I like myself, and that makes me cool. Harriette Winslow: Carl Otis Winslow, I'm ashamed of you. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, Everything was Going Just fine, until You Blabbed that I was a cop. Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [reveals his empty jacket] He meant the booze that came out of my jacket. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? 7. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Harriette Winslow: [feigns being touched] Oh, Carl this is beautiful. Eddie: Man, I don't have time to study. Laura Lee Winslow: Oh lord, you're gonna die. Waldo put today's date on the flyer. [the car breaks down. Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Clarence: Dude, you a serious little nerd. Stefan Urquelle. I'm starved. Carl: What? [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. 4 Mar. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: We took in $2,000 dad and we want you to have it. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, why can't you manage money like your brother, Steve? Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! Web. You're always sorry. Carl Otis Winslow: Like that. Steve Urkel: [dropping his bowling ball and hyperventilating]. Chuck is twice the man, Raoul is. Steve could've been killed. Halawna, Oneisha: [pop up in the car Clarence stole] Surprise! We're starved. Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. You've been saying it for weeks. White, known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom "Family Matters," is. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. His parents were very upset. I can see my dad! Laura: [Long pause] Your looks. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I almost wore that same suit. Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. Steve Urkel: Waldo, how could you do this to me? Steve Urkel: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon. Seems I'm having all the luck. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. Snap, Sidekick: [with the Serpents] All the doo-dah day. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes, Harriette! They help move along our sentences. Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! [steps on the gas]. Cassie Lynn: All's fair in love and politics. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. Harriette Winslow: Why? Their own version of the 3 R's? Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo? Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? Laura: Steve, you like this kind of music? [He leaves the house]. Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. Harriette: Better add zucchini to that shopping list. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: What'cha gonna do, Willie? Second question. And from that day on, EVERYBODY could use that library. Steve Urkel: Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. Anywhere away from my Laura. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Laura] Sugar, I realize you're having a hard time, but you've got to stand up for whatever you believe in, or things will never change. Steve Urkel: [Rushed] That's all. You know that? Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. [Steve is eating frozen fish sticks out of the box]. Carl: Typical. In Season 1 he was a supporting character and made his first appearance as a background character in Rachel's First Date and had his first major role in "Laura's First Date", however as of Season 2 he was officially considered a main character . A heart that hurts. Lt. Murtaugh: They're sending in that Urkel kid. You'll never know how much time you'll have together. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 24th, Raoul's houseoat is beautiful. Rachel Crawford: I'll just take your word for it. Steve Urkel: You said, "Get a life, Steve", A week ago you would have said, "Get a life, TURBONERD". Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction. Laura Lee Winslow: [enters the room] All right, Curtis. Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? Don't nothing, never mind me, Carl. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: All right. You know uh, Laura doesn't have a date for the prom either. Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. Topics Nerd. I'll teach you. Harriette Winslow: She's still pretty upset, she wouldn't even touch her dinner. Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What kind of plans? Judge Vance: All right, young man, call your first witness. Steve Urkel: Okay. Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. But our little town only had ONE library, and it was for whites only. Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? THIS? Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Oh man I didn't think you were this cool. Laura Lee Winslow: [Faces Ty] Steve is my brother? Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? Eddie: Did Halle Berry return my phone call? Yesterday Richie and 3J were playing 'Nick and Carl'. She imforms Maxine that Steve is safe and Rachel has just taken him home], Willie Fuffner: See officer, everything is fine. Waldo, you may go now. I was kickin' butt. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? Why, how low can you get? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. I'm on duty? Boyd Higgins: Name's Boyd Higgins, but ym friends call me Buck! Steve Urkel: Well, the earth didn't exactly move for me either! Steve Urkel: Oh great! Do these guys have game? Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! Let me tell you something though Weasel. Where do I sign? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll show him. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! And if you call me names, do I not eat? Stefan Urkelle: Good lord, you're a nerd. Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! Now, what you do on your own time is your business. Laura: Science class. So they picked up all out stuff and moved us again. Eddie: I just did the laundry and I'm on my way out to wash the car and cut the grass. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. Dexter Thornhill: [after being found guilty at Urkel's trial] Darn you Urkel, Darn you to Heck! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh that's sweet, what did he say? That one friend who says going to gym will solve everything. The Ethical Issues With Stefan Urquelle In Family Matters Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! Carl Otis Winslow: [Has just gotten wind of Eddie's flyer party] Edward! Addeddate 2019-09-04 04:56:23 Identifier steveurkel_201909 Scanner Internet Archive HTML5 Uploader 1.6.4. plus-circle Add Review. Edward, sure I got a moment. Why she is woman, hear me roar. [Steve has just fallen off the tree and onto the Coopers' pet Doberman, Damien. 1 The Shrink Machine Was Made To Make The Winslows Plenty Of Money. When's the last time you slept? Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? Yesterday he said 'get lost, Fido Face!' Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: L means lousy. What did you do? "Take out the trash, Edward." Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? Raoul is the new produce manager. Laura: Not when the bomb is in the basement with you! Carl Otis Winslow: No. Steve Urkel: Laura's got the highly infectious mucus-nasal-osis-inflamicus. Steve Urkel on CBS? Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. An illustration of a person's head and chest. The Most Memorable Moments From Family Matters - Looper.com Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: When you're hurting other people it ain't harmless. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? And instead of admitting to it, you got yourself involved in gambling. Robber: Oh yeah? Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. Now you're going to find out what it's like to be Steve Urkel. Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. Steve Urkel: Well the good news is, my dad will do the operation for you. Carl Otis Winslow: What did she have to say? [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. Sergeant Shishka: Urkel, Winslow, you are not on my list of new recruits. Steve Urkel: Yes! Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? Carl Otis Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Edward. Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Eddie swoops in and starts taking pictures]. I mean the guy's a feeb. "Tomorrow Dad!" Kanye West name-dropped "Family Matters" star Steve Urkel on his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy track, "Dark Fantasy." However, Ye originally thought a similar line rapped by T-Pain was "corny," the "Buy U A Drank" singer claims.. As reported by HipHopDX on Tuesday (Sept. 7), T-Pain says Ye stole the concept for the Urkel-referencing line after hearing a similar lyric on his . Then we par-tay, see no problem. Harriette Winslow: Carl, calm down, it's not the school's fault. You think I'm fat. Ms. Steuben: Steve, it's not a good sign when you have to give your bread a pep talk. Stefan Urkelle: Well, it could be a few days, or weeks, or [Steve voice] any minute now! [takes note and crumbles it, Laura slams locker door, revealing the word 'N*gger' spray painted on it]. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. You have a lot of qualitites girls really go for. Easy Eddo. Who does these things? Lt. Murtaugh: Yeah like that's gonna bring him back. Steve Urkel: Because, I love you love you love you! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well it wasn't funny. Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. Laura Lee Winslow: Tonight is the charity bachelor auction. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. Nobody threatens my woman! We all stand nice and quiet until Gramps and Granny make it legal. Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. Carl: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. If there was one thing I thought the show could have brushed up on, it would be the premise of the episodes. Dad took Waldo instead of me. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? As played by Jaleel White, the ultra-nerdy teenager with his whiney voice, awkward walk, pants rolled up high, and apprehensive catchphrase "Did I do.